Comedian George Fox informs us of a very strange battle between movie star Matthew McConaughey and the natural forces of gravity. Yeah, weird….
Over the years I’ve worked many jobs, most of them the kind of horrifically mind numbing wastes of time as to have no value in even being mentioned. But one job, allowed me to discover a battle unlike any other, thats been going on right under our noses, for decades! It was while working for a well known irish music store, (at this point i imagine you’re screaming at the screen, “WHAT!? People don’t buy music you LIAR!”), that I Noticed the pattern.
You see, we also sold DVD’s and after your 500th time alphabetizing a DVD section you start to inherently notice the patterns between the DVD covers.It was at this point that I noticed something VERY strange. At first I didn’t believe it, but then suddenly one day, a third piece of evidence entered the fray and it just clicked. Ladies and Gentleman…..
MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY HATES GRAVITY!
He doesn’t trust it, and I’m pretty sure he wants to destroy it.
Evidence A- McCONAUGHEY CAN’T STAND WITHOUT HELP
An elder statesman reviews 500 Days Of Summer, part 2
Click here for Part 1
Giles Brody wanted compensation for his earlier dictation of my review, an idea I balked out, and immediately sent him on his way. What follows are my own notes, jotted down by quill before being painstakingly committed to a printing press for the benefit of the ages.
When last I made entry, I had to pause the machine as there was an urchin selling “lines” at the door. I bid him take his leave immediately and that the only lines he was likely to receive from me would be red lines on the back of his legs from the cane marks I was moments away from engraving on his common flesh. The whole wretched exchange left me so perturbed that I did not watch the remainder of the film until one year later whilst on the train. I viewed the entertainment on my grandsons portable wonder box whilst under a cloak I had over my head to blot out the blasted sun. Continue reading →
→ Leave a comment
Posted in Categories, Diaries, Features, Giles Brody, Movies
Tagged 500 days of summer, bawdio commentaries, film, giles brody, review