Tag Archives: 2012

A Bluffer’s Guide to Euro 2012

I don't think it's homophobic to say that the Euro's mascots are weird.

Anyone who is reading a geek comedy website is sure to be a cool guy, totally down with all the balls, foot or otherwise. Our readers are men’s men, the kind of men who like to be manly with other man’s men, while watching tertiary man’s men run about a field, like men do. But maybe you slipped through the cracks, and got past any one of our seventeen anti-nerd countermeasures, and wandered onto this site – how do you interact with all the real men’s men, like us here at Humourisms? Between long winded posts about European philosophers and filming Game Boys webisodes, there’s nothing we like better than cracking a beer or similar carbonated beverage, and sitting down with the lads to watch ‘the big match’.

So, it’s been left up to me to explain to you non-macho men how to cope in the football-themed conversations that are currently dominating the country, and that we here at Humourisms freely engage in while lifting weights, eating steak directly off the cow, or on our way to and from our most reliable prosititutes. So, here is Humourisms’ guide to bluffing your way through Euro 2012.

Firstly, you must identify if you are, indeed, a bluffer. Here is a quick test, that you can take, at home, free of charge;

1) What do you and your friends, as a group, look like?

Pictured: the photograph that sparked a Europe-wide campaign against racism towards chairs.

2) As a child, which of these costumes would you have been more likely to wear?

From different worlds, yet in later life the two fell madly in love.

3) Finally, and perhaps most concisely, which character from Revenge of the Nerds do you most identify with?

On reflection, really could have opened with this one.

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Five reasons to give me a job

This week, Jon Hozier-Byrne explains the merits of giving Jon Hozier-Byrne a job.

As of quite recently, I am on the job hunt. I am journalist by trade, and have edited whole newspapers, magazines, and contributed to the Irish Times and other such big-time newspapers, but unfortunately, finding a job in the ever-expanding field of journalism is a degree more difficult than one might think. In fact, if you’re reading this, there is a decent enough chance that you’ve googled my name after I sent you a CV, and are trying to size me up as a candidate for employment, and also to see if I am mental. Well, look no further, as I present to you; five reasons why the search ends here, and why I am the only employee you will ever need.

5. I have lots of fancy book learning

As you can see from the above photograph of me looking at some books while holding my glasses, I am clearly the intellectual type. I have a Masters in Film studies, and a Bachelors in Philosophy and Film, clinically proven to be the two most intellectual and fancy of the Arts disciplines. Whats more, my Junior Cert results were off the hook. Seriously, they called me Mister CSPE. Continue reading

Fun Facts about… Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney

While other websites carefully research their fun facts lists, Jon Hozier-Byrne just makes stuff up. This week, it’s Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney!

1. Mitt Romney comes from a long line of people named Romney

Yes, it’s true! Mitt Romney’s father, Charles ‘Dashing’ Romney, or C.D. Rom as he preferred to be known, was a prominent politician and outdated storage format. His mother, Veronica Anne Romney, or V.A. Rom (as was her nom de plume) was a schoolteacher, an amateur botanist, and the noise that cars make. Romney is a weird name, is what I’m saying. Continue reading

Business in Bad, Bad Times

2011 was bad. 2012 is prophesised to be the year of our ultimate doom. While some of us are worrying about the future, Dick Funk, author of “Business in Bad, Bad Times” is looking forward to 2013. Guest Contributor Bobby Hennigan read the book for us, but was too stunned by its contents to write a review. Instead, he came speechless into the Humourisms.com office and handed us these photo-copied excerpts.

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