1912ish – June 24, 2012
Lonesome George, 100, of Galopogas, passed away on June 24, 2012 as a result of a long battle with time. As he slept his insides finally succumbed to Father Time and turned to dust. He was born to Brenda and Jackson George of Pinta Island, also tortoises, some time in the last 100 to 150 years.
His greatest aspirations were to appear on Ecuadorian bank notes, see LeBron James win an NBA Championship, and to outlive his entire species. After years of self imposed celibacy, Lonesome George mated twice in 2009, however none of the eggs survived. Scientist speculated that, due to the fact the sperm cells were over 90 years old, these eggs were the first to ever die from old age.
Lonesome George is survived by his keeper and, well, nobody else.