As we go into our second week, George Fox once again brings us the news from the frontline with Humourisms Headlines.
Ontario, Canada – Citizens of a small neighbourhood in the town of Stratford, Ontario were distressed earlier this week when an elderly man began acting in ways not befitting the stereotype that locals had attributed to him.
The alarm was raised when one of the neighbourhood teens spotted Mr. Brisson, 71, allowing a telephone engineer into his house. “It was one of those guys from that new company offering high speed fibre optic internet connections, what would an old timer want with that?” said Jacob Henderson, 16. “I got suspicious so i snuck around back and took a look through a window, turns out he has a laptop, a digital radio, a 46 inch plasma screen…. I think I even saw a Blu-Ray player…but…. but i just got freaked out, so I ran home” he continued.
This is not the first time questions have been raised about Brisson, who was the cause of an emergency neighbourhood commitee meeting in late 2010 after rumours persisted that locals had spotted someone matching Brissons description “jogging” through the neighbourhood. Although these claims were thrown out when it was revealed that witnesses had seen the person jogging using an iPod. “Clearly someone of Mr. Brissons age wouldnt even understand the concept of MP3 players, let alone have one” said neighbourhood commitee head Jason David… athough in recent months rumours have persisted that some have even over-heard Brisson enjoying contemporary music in his home.
“Its bad enough that we have to put up with him driving… But last week I told him about my divorce, and rather then give me some advice based on his extensive life experience, he handed me a flyer for an underground DJ club in the city which he said I might enjoy?!?” said one angry local we spoke to. Another added, “I was doing yard work the other week, and tried talking to him over the fence about movies, the kinda stuff an old guy like him would just eat up. Next thing i know he’s telling me his favourite film is Blade Runner? Then he asked if I’d seen the latest Directors Cut…what am i sposed to say to that?”.
Officials in the area plan to work things out with an extensive cocoa session with local busybodys next Sunday. Unfortunately, Mr. Brisson will be not be present as he will be attending a Lady Gaga concert with his grandchildren.